Three simple steps to effectively getting water balloon gut-checked.

1. Run with your back turned from a 6th grade boy.

2. Anticipate the potential threat by mindlessly freezing before the attacker, receive hit.

3. Laugh like it didn't hurt, then go after him.

tbh vs. pfy: what it means and what to do with it

I've been seeing more "tbh" wall posts on facebook.

And to be honest (if I may borrow the slang of the acronym in question), I'm not sure I like the trend that much.

Sometimes, people are nice to each other.

But sometimes they're not.

At least in my humble opinion (imho), tbh seems like a cheap way to sling a little dirt on someone publicly.

I'm not a in opposition to facebook slang. In fact, I enjoy the tribal/ viral-ness of it. It's fun. What isn't fun is when I see teenagers hurting each other.

Let me make up a sample that resembles some of the things I've read...

"tbh: you're a nice girl and we used to talk in math. but you really need to go outside more and not be on your computer so much. it'd do you good to get a life or just kill yourself."

Ouch. Pain. I hurt deeply when I read words like this. I can only imagine what it would feel like to receive words like these.

Mixed in the pain and dirt of wall posts are some social niceties and some really genuinely good offerings too. But the mean outweighs the good for me in this case and I wanted to provide a new just-as-good-if-not-better-than acronym to take it's place.

Right before I boarded a plane home to return to my youth group tonight, and right after I had just seen one too many hurtful *tbh comments, I posted this on facebook.

"What if everyone started praying for each other on here instead of tbh'ing each other. Call it pfy: starting now. Going viral....."

In just a few hours dozens of people were liking the post, dozens were sharing pfy on their walls, and even more started to pray.

My heart raced. And now I'm excited.

There are so many teenagers who would rather "pray for you" than tell you a truth stripped of love, that could possibly crush your spirit.

That gives me hope. No matter what our age. We can choose to bless each other. And I'm excited that maybe trying something different (because we are indeed different) will bless people and keep them from despair.

All of us have the potential for deep and lasting relationships. And yes, with deepness comes a more vivid honesty forged over time. But that honesty should be saturated with a love that stems from the one who loved us first. We should follow the example set in front of us, loving each other--praying for one another-- instead of word blasting our hearts to pieces in the name of truth.

Get ready to say, "I pfy today" and feel the blessing of praying for people specifically from the heart.

Thanks to hundreds of teenagers and adults around the US and a few living around the world, who have been the leaders of the last twelve hours, already changing the *tbh trend to a *pfy culture.

You rock.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

The Bible, John Chapter 13, Verses 34 and 35

Tweet @brooklynlindsey or @hpnyintern The whole #hpny team is #pfy...

I like to dance.

In our youth group, it's common to find us dancing.
Whatever "it" is, if it's good clean group fun, we're unashamedly holding on to
it as youth ministry real estate--it's that simple.

For the last school year, we've been rocking out to a song called the Interlude.
We asked our high school pastor (Tomy Gunn Cummins)
to put a little video together to help
anyone participating learn the dance in about 5 seconds. He lived up to his facebook profile and delivered the goods.

Easy. Fun. Collective wonderful-ness. All year.

I guess it's why if I'm ever speaking anywhere with a little flexibility in their schedule I try to squeeze a bit of dancing in before I talk. Why not?
On Thursday, my family was in the front row while I was speaking at my alma mater, my sister Betsy recording on her phone.
Embarrassing for me--fun for everyone else! But I'm really happy she captured the spontaneity. This is me, a little nuts. Being myself.

My hope in being a little nuts? So other people can know we're all pretty much starting at the same place. Here's the footage. If you find yourself
feeling a little embarrassed for me, that's OK. It's on purpose and I
hope it sets you a bit more at ease to be whoever God has called you to be.

Thanks Betsy for thinking I'm hilarious. For being cut from the same cloth and understanding my incessant need for group choreography. You get me. "Pharoah, Pharoah, O baby let my people go"....and then the car bottomed out and we look around to see that we are all safe and no one died (that's another blog post for another time: why teenagers shouldn't be in charge of the car pool).

10 Reasons We Like Teenagers

10. An ability to occupy every seat in a coffeehouse—and also miraculously never drink one ounce of coffee. (The city of Louisville is currently under siege. No worries though slugger, teenagers are nice, they do provide a buzz about your little shop, and they even push in the chairs when no one is looking.)

9. Just go with it nicknames. I love how teenagers can take a moment—no matter how inconspicuous and turn it into an occasion for naming. Giving us and each other names that can never be shaken. (Some of my favorite nicknames: catfish, captain hook, coy sauce, B-lyn)

8. They are the champs of the “accidentally on purpose”. Enough said.

7. They are master marketers. Why else would companies spend most of their advertising dollars targeting this audience? They know how to get excited about things. They know how to tell other people about things. They understand the power of persuasion. Proof that they're your greatest ministry resource.

6. Not much scares them. They boldly assimilate to new technology. They aren't afraid of gas station bathrooms. They are willing to work an eight hour car wash in exchange for a $16.36 share.

5. They're much like magic capsule toys when doused with water. Add a pinch of adolescent development and you could see them grow up to eight inches in a year! Astounding.

4. Teenagers have ideas that are beyond possibility. Paired with a few safety precautions and prayer, they can literally change the world as we know it.

3. With hearts bigger than Texas, they care for each other. With passions soaring beyond the oceans, they'll argue until both of your eyes cross in surrender. With raw contextual emotion they'll devastate each other with words...and be the first to seek forgiveness.

2. They are truth tellers. If you wear the same Christian t-shirt you got from Acquire the Fire in 1994 every Wednesday night you'll hear about it. If you're tracking and trending faster than they can say Tumblr they'll ask you how you came to be so cool? If your talk stinks, they'll tell you. If Jesus meets them right where they are, you'll know. When they're mad, you'll see it written on their faces. They'll wear excitement out with running, chasing, conquering, yelling, cheering, and smiling. And they'll thank you later for making their day the best day ever...so far.

And the number one reason to like teenagers.

1. They are fun. They live in the moment. They engage and experience things with multiple senses. When people ask me why I like youth ministry, I tell them. When you find a job you love, you really never have to work a day in your life. I love teenagers. Thanks to them, I'm going on 13 years of being happily "unemployed".

Do you have some teenagers in your life? What do you like most about them? How do their lives encourage yours?

Transitions: Speak to them with the future in mind.

Spring in youth ministry is a funny time. The teenagers have matured but the nearness of summer injects an extra-squirrel factor, monster-drink infused buzz that begs for summer swimming and up all night video game marathons. At the same time--quieter moments are happening. Braces fly off teeth like pancakes off the griddle at IHOP. And you see your once wild 6th graders walking calmly into youth group. Our 8th grade guys now know that they don't have to break into the ball closet, they need only to ask for the key... or ask us if they can break into the ball closet (smile).

While so much has changed, not much has changed.
And we are endeared.

For the last twelve years, the middle school and high school students in our ministries have needed the same thing.

The proof exists in salutatorian and valedictorian speeches. The proof exists in award ceremonies and grad nights. The proof exists in end of year parties and teachers who read poems to their graduating pre-schoolers. The proof exists in tears, in laughter, in celebrations, and in quiet trepidation.

In college (at the beginning and end of the year), our chaplain (Gary Sivewright) would engage us in a transition tradition. It made a difference to me as a student and stood out as a defining moment my senior year--so much so that I've emulated him and carried it with me into youth ministry.

• At the beginning and end of the school year
• At the last day of youth camps where I speak.
  
• At the start or end of a retreat

What's the recipe for a great transition in ministry? When students cross from children's ministry to youth. When they take giant leaps of faith. When a particularly stretching experience draws to a close.

Somewhere in your conversations, in your talk, in your group or gathering...

1. Define the relationship.
2. Speak words of truth to them, in love.
   
3. Give thanks and give grace for the past.
4. Celebrate the future together. (Give them a preview before it happens.)
   

Let's put some flesh on these transition to-do's.

At our last "regular" youth service of the school year we asked our 6th graders to stand.

I give them a healthy non-romantic DTR. They started out physically smaller...I share that while there have been some areas to grow, the truth is that they are growing. And that is awesome. We are thankful for those moments and we don't hide them but relish them as gifts. We celebrate them as official 7th graders and remind them of their responsibility to love and encourage the new ones joining us soon because they literally walked in their shoes this year.

We ask the 7th graders stand. They were the filling to one great oreo cookie this year. Not the youngest, not the oldest they held our littlest and our largest together with consistent determination. Even though they might be responsible for the new rear projection system in our gym...we now have a new rear projection system in our gym. They'll be the leaders next year, the younger students will look to them for cues on how to live and how to act. We count on them to lead us in the fall in their gathering, in their growing, and in their serving.

We ask our 8th graders stand. (And we pause for the wildest of cheers). We celebrate the short time when their lives felt like a crazy accordion of emotion and physical growth. We look at the pictures of them on their first day of youth group and laugh when we the picture morphs into people who are literally six to seven inches taller. We thank them for being human, for being vulnerable, for being leaders. And we launch them into a new chapter where they'll find themselves feeling young again (and that is a good thing!). And then we pray over them--and promise to walk with them as they continue to grow in their faith, in their families, and in their deep friendships with each other.

I love this time of year. It's a wonderful reminder that our calling is eternal. Noticing the teenagers in our ministry, speaking truth to them and over them in love, giving them traditions that serve as tangible reminders that we are growing in Christ, these are all a part of the ebb and flow that is youth ministry...such a joy filled calling. So much fun. So very sacred.

Thoughts:

Do speak to your students with the future in mind?

How do you speak truth to them in love when they transition into and out of your ministry?

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. -Ephesians 4:15 NLT

Sticky Faith Experiment(s): Baby steps to building lasting faith.

• A sticky church may not know it's sticky.

There's a short stack of books on my desk. It represents

ideas and stories I'd like to devour in their entirety. The reality

of the stack is that they serve as reminders. I may not finish each book

and I probably get only a taste of most, but they are kindling for the fires

I hope will grow in me.

One of these books in my stack is called Sticky Faith. It's brimming over with practical ideas

on how to build long-term faith in teenagers. One of the chapters I've read gives some thought on how to become a sticky church, where lasting faith can be built up together as a body.

This value can be frustrating to me because a lot of other things seem to take priority

over this goal in ministry. It becomes a faint echo in the everyday loudness of "everything else that has to get done."

I was thinking about it, trying to be positive, when I made a quick assessment.

How much have we done, as a youth ministry team to lean in the direction of

sticky faith building? When I started writing down things I'd consider sticky-

faith-initiative-worthy, I saw that there was more than I had realized already rolling

around and in the works (most of it being done by our church already).

The church where I grew up as a child was a sticky church. They didn't know it. But they were. They, with the help of the Holy Spirit, built a lasting faith in me. What they knew inherently was that it was important for the body to participate in each others lives. I can still tell you the name of the senior adult who checked me in for Sunday school every week. Her name was Helen Hanby. She sent a post card when I was missing and she like to ask about my family. Her smile was warm. I was never afraid to approach Helen, she was safe and inviting.

I remember Carl and Lois Waggoner. With multiple children of their own I wouldn't have blamed them if they were to bring their children to church and soak up a much needed respite of a kid-free sermons and fellowship with adults. But I'm so glad that they chose to be with the children, sharing missionary stories and their lives with us in the basement of our church. They also modeled great parenting. I was taking notes.

Mrs. Fender had a son named Court. She talked about him often. I was in elementary school and her son was in high school or in college. I heard from her perspective what it was like to have an older teenager in her home and she even let us pray for him and for her family sometimes. I felt valued. She brought us into the process and helped us memorize Scripture. Even today, there are moments when I'll ask myself, I wonder what Mrs. Fender would do in this situation?

Our little church in Newark didn't know it was a sticky church but it was--in a huge way they broke the barriers of silo ministry and helped to build a lasting faith in me and in my siblings.

The point--you may not know that your church is already pretty sticky. It's encouraging to know this. It's also fuel to get started on some sticky faith initiatives because you really aren't starting at ground zero at all. This helps me as we move forward with a sticky faith team.

• A sticky team may not realize they are a team...yet.

Our senior adult pastor who spent his first twenty-ish years in youth ministry is our reminder to stay dedicated to connecting generations in our church. He never lets our water cooler conversations remain water cooler conversations. I appreciate this about him.

We met last week to talk about a few first steps to get our students and our senior adults together this summer. After we met, brainstormed, planned, and prayed we came up with what we hope will be a few fun events that will introduce our senior adult community to our student community. A sticky faith team already exists. What's needed are the conversations and the implementation of ideas. You may not have an official name tag or a board room or even a place to sit (my office lacks a few chairs) but you are a team if you're working on the stickiness of your church together.

• A great ritual has tremendous potential.

The maximizer in me posed the question: what are we already doing that could serve us as we seek to build lasting faith and connect the generations in our church? Nuancing what we already do seems like a simple solution and requires less effort on everyone's part. We looked at a few of our best rituals and made an effort to give them extra meaning.

Summer bowling. Let's include each other. Why not?

• "Hipster Bowl" will connect our senior adult and student community. The "wear what you'd wear to high school" emphasis will give us fantastic photo opps and fun conversations. Modified rules will include. Mixing up the lanes and loving each other will build new friendships. It's a small step. But we'll take it.

Senior Adult Pot-Luck turns outward. They'll invite us to their well-stocked and infamously-tasty pot-luck.

• "Meet 'N Eat". Free food. New friends. And a few Quaker questions on the screen to foster storytelling. How was your house heated as a child? How did you get your birth name? The seniors are already meeting. They bring the food. Teenagers are hungry. They have the time. Makes sense to us and we're looking forward to the communal feel of Sunday dinner.

Prayer Stations don't have to be an individual experience. During monthy prayer stations our teens write down the prayers they are thinking. Each month we sit and read them. We pray over them, cry over them, and wonder how things will turn out. Cue light bulb moment. Why don't we share these with the church? Light bulb. And we should also receive requests from our adult small groups to pray over during our prayer stations. Many of our younger teens are afraid of death. They pray for their grandparents a lot. They ask God to help their families with finances, and sickness, and grief. I'm thinking our adults are praying for the same things.

• Prayer Exchange will enable us to share burdens and the deep well of thanksgiving and gratitude. We'll care for each other in our must sincere needs. And we'll celebrate with each other over even the smallest of praises. Another baby step.

If I looked further, I'm sure I'd see a lot more going on under the surface. It's encouraging and helpful to know that we are making progress. It may be slow progress but I'd take slow route any day over flash pan, here today, gone tomorrow growth. That's the thing about sticky stuff. Over time the sticky gets stickier. Glue hardens when it sits in one place long enough. And that's my prayer. That the sticky would be here for generations and that faith would be something solid in all of our hearts.

One sticky step at a time.

Run toward them. Loving teenagers when they fail.

April, the youth pastor in this video, is also a friend of mine. Her essence is beautifully illustrated as she talks about loving teenagers in their sin and in their failures. Much of April's essence should also be ours, the essence of Christ. I love that I get to work in a community who understands this, but who also knows that we may struggle actually doing these things. Thank you for the reminder as we run toward those younger than us with arms of grace and with leadership that says that a person's worth isn't bound up in past failures but bound up in the eternal grace of God.

A Taste of Eternity

I was running and listening to a new song by the band known as Bellarive. Shawn (a vocalist in the band) plays with the Overflow worship team sometimes. He's a gifted young man and we're grateful for his life shared with us. One of our worship leaders, Jessica Davis led us on Saturday night in this anthem and we sang it again at the Overflow service. I was thinking, what if we added to these voices? We talked it over and decided to repurpose old-school choir for an new generation. It may not look like it used to with robes, standing in neat lines, but each voice will carry the weight of a life, just as it has for generations.

We want to mobilize and empower 100 diverse young voices to sing, as living witnesses of the truth in these words--words that are timeless and eternal. We want the choir to open our school year and to serve as banner wavers of hope in our community this fall. If you want to join, you can sign up here. We'll be singing, A Taste of Eternity and the choir will also be recording a song with Jessica on her new album. I love when God brings fresh wind to our lungs and a vision for the future. It's exciting to be apart of eternity, today.