Nearly a year ago I submitted an article to Holiness Today magazine. The title, 5 Things Your Teen Won't Tell You. (You can read it here.)
I shared a story about our 2 year old's hurt thumb. I compared how she responds and acts to how teenagers respond and act because there seem to be a ton of similarities.
What I didn't realize.
That I would read my own words.
One year later.
And wonder who wrote them.
- "Make my home a welcoming place."
- "I don't really want you to be like me."
- "I want to be independent but I also want you to help me."
- "Notice when I'm guarded or struggling."
- "Celebrate the little things. They mean a lot to me."
Did I write that?
Do I do that?
I ask myself things as I stare into my behemoth laundry pile (my own personal chaos monster).
How do I do these things consistently when they are consistently saying my name...over...and over...and over...again? Or, when we are running late and it's mainly my fault but they're not helping the situation by not wanting to put on their shoes. How can I celebrate the little things when the pinterest recipe I tried in an attempt to be a good mommy comes out looking like something straight out of Clark's Christmas vacation?
I find myself trying so hard.
Even when Christ says, that we don't really need to do that.
Our efforts are important.
But, being still and quiet at the center is what brings life to our efforts.
And grace can enter into these moments both shining and dark.
We find ourselves beloved.
And we give everything we have to our spouses, our children, our jobs, our friends.
And we can afford to do so because we've already received all that God has to give.
The words I write are words that I actually believe and want to live. And I know the temptation is there to forget them, push them aside for worries, and leanings on my own understandings of how things should work. But God says, trust in the Lord.
With all of our hearts.
Acknowledging the Source.
In our ways.
He'll guide us.
And help us to listen, to become a welcoming people, to be ourselves--our true created selves, to be helpers of our children, to be able to notice things outside of ourselves, and to celebrate the smallest of things. Because in those small things we find the essence of our lives. We find evidence of God's great and unconditional love for each one of us.