Duoh!

Tonight was one of those youth ministry nights that will live on in the queasy pit of my stomach--for a long time.

Here's the back story. I contacted a pregnancy center to help me with some abstinence training I planned on providing for our students and parents who voluntarily would participate. Everything has gone really great. The program has a great presentation and will allow me to weave in my own stuff during the process. So we picked a date for the training and have separate middle school, high school, and parent presentations lined up.

A few weeks ago I got the bright idea to have the teen drama crew from the center come to a Wednesday night service (tonight) to do a preview of the skits they would be performing during the future training event--my intention was to peak the students' interest and get them to sign up for the program.

The skit crew was comprised of awesome high school students, all who were Christians, diverse and charismatic. They were sweet, talented, and outgoing. However, I wasn't ready for the content that they brought to our mixed audience of 6-12th graders.

Things didn't start off as planned when I found out that the team couldn't arrive early for me to preview the skits. Whiff number one. Then, not knowing excatly how graphic the skits would be in describing bodily fluids, I sat with fresh 6th graders, parents, and high school students in the same room for thirty minutes of uncomfortable wondering....will I have a job tomorrow?

All of this probably isn't as bad as I'm making it seem. Considering the fact that most fourth graders get "the class" now in school. However, I'm not sure who was there tonight. There were a few new students, some ten year olds, and some visiting parents. I hope they know that it wasn't our intention to inform their kids about SDI's--not yet anyway.

Lesson learned: preview EVERYTHING!!!

There's a ton of really great stuff out there to help us, but make sure you want the help you're going to get!

Mood descriptor for the night: awkward.

Something I've never done before.

Last Friday I made a commitment.

But not just any old commitment, this one is going to cost me something. I was doing a prayer walk of sorts with some teenagers at the mall and God asked me to consider some things. So I considered them-- then I did something I would consider going overboard--I responded to God with and "OK I'll do that--but sort of flippantly tacked on "FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR" to the deal.

It's not altogether clear why I would feel compelled to make such a long commitment to do something that is difficult for me (even for a day) for an entire year. So, the pride in me begged me not to tell anyone. Of course I listened. I sort of felt like maybe the desire to do this "thing" would go away and I wouldn't have to recant the vow to anyone that I may have shared with. But it didn't go away. In fact, people who knew nothing of the "thing" affirmed it day after day. Even our pastor mentioned my "thing" this morning as he humbly shared from the Bible. I've finally told one person about the journey I feel God is setting me on (because I know myself all too well) but I still don't feel comfortable sharing what "it" is exactly.

I'll do my best to write about the journey in the days ahead and maybe sometime between now and about 51 weeks from now I might have something worthwhile to say about "it".

Youth Ministry Parenting 101

A tip from the new parent in youth ministry.

To any youth worker who finds themselves heading into the delicate world of parenting.

Tip #1:
Never leave your toddler to roam throughout the youth building with teenagers during mingling hours

(Before or after services, waiting for students to get picked up, during a concert. This includes fellowship halls, foyers, or anything that resembles a church gathering area.)

Your child will--and I repeat WILL-- come back having eaten two M &M cookies and downed an entire bottle of neon blue Gatorade, leaving her lips to resemble those of Smurfette and her tummy to bulge like she just ate at a buffet. Did I mention that it will most likely be 9PM, just minutes before you will attempt--emphasis on attempt--to put her in her crib to sleep. Which, at that point, she will looked at you like a crazed bull in a pen and try to climb up your ascending arms to your neck, holding on like she's just been given the worst punishment-EVER. You will know that sleep is the very best thing for her and come to grips with the fact that you have to put her back. After you peel your child from your face, you'll lay her down--say a prayer--and walk calmly out of the room.

After the crying ceases you remember that you love your baby, you love your ministry, and you love the people that love your baby and your ministry---that's why they give her cookies and care for her in the foyer when we are busy doing ministry. This is the moment when you become grateful--even for sugar.

Edward Cullen's secret- a not-too-awkward post.

I finished the third book of the Twilight series a couple of days ago. If you've been reading my blog, you'll know that it was moving a bit slow for me around page 429. Meyer delivered, I was mainly just getting board with the story (as one might after nearly 1,800 pages of reading). However, it picked up for me and began redeeming itself quite nicely, especially when I discovered why most girls (including Bella Swan) are so enamored by Edward Cullen. It turns out that his character, in my opinion, is one of the most chivalrous, moral, and patient pop culture figures of our time--keeping in mind that he is a fictional person. When Bella gets caught up in a moment where both could compromise their physical relationship--Bella decides to "go after" Edward with every alluring way she knows--Edward on the other hand wants to wait until they are married, he wouldn't even touch or look at her in a way that was inappropriate. It was a surprise to read and it's not often that you see this character on television or in books. It was refreshing. One might wonder if boys like Edward still exist. (I would have to say yes---forgive me for being a mush pot--because I've found one, his name is Coy and he respected my physical space like a true gentleman.)

It seems unlikely for teenagers and young adults to air their physical commitments to sexual purity on their blogs and facebooks, but I'm convinced that there is a population of guys (and girls) who truly desire to save something special---but who are also finding it challenging--who are willing to give it up because it's easier to give in to the inner struggle. Edward's character is a vampire and he seems to posses some other-worldly strength. But I know there are real, live, young, and beautiful humans today making decisions to "wait".

Later on in the book, we read that Edward attempts to compromise. There is a moment when he throws all caution to the wind--you see him for a brief moment just wanting to live in the moment. (Sound familiar? We've all been there.) He decided to give Bella what she wants. At that point, she wants to do the right thing and wait. Meyer deserves praise for not ignoring the conflict that is real in most of us. I'm not sure how many girls would have hedged their metaphorical Edward off at that point.

I have to say that I believe in a God that saves and give us strength to persevere through trials and temptations. I am not perfect and have had my fair share of compromise. But, I know this particular strength firsthand as I was able to keep some things sacred for Coy--I'm not saying it was easy by any stretch of the imagination--but possible. This is why I was impressed with make-believe Edward and Bella--the story can encourage all of us (no matter how far we've gone) to choose selflessness over selfishness.

No matter how melodramatic the Edward/ Bella relationship has become, the story brought something pretty valuable to the table--that there are some things worthy waiting for.

Hide it in your heart.

Michelle caught me in the foyer this morning after church. She's a high school student who listened to Louie Giglio at camp this past week. She said, "Hey Pastor Brooklyn, I've got something to tell you.". When a teenage girl in my youth group says something like that I usually brace myself for the worst so I won't be shocked or need help picking myself off of the floor. She paused for too long before she started talking so I was wondering what on earth she would need to tell me--three inches from my face--that early in the morning. But then she did the most remarkable thing--she started quoting nearly the entire book of Philippians, some of Colossians, and a bunch of scriptures from the Psalms. It was a beautiful and astounding thing. When Louie challenged everyone to memorize Scripture, she took him seriously--went home and immediately looked up an computer application to help her memorize Bible verses everyday. Michelle is awesome. Teenagers are awesome. Thanks Louie for starting something awesome in our midst.

I can't wait for our new high school pastor and his family to get here. They are going to love these kids so much.

Lunch with Lebron

Today we were blessed to join Lebron and Anne Fairbanks for lunch at Mimi's Cafe. We have been wanting to do this for a long time and it finally worked out for all of us to meet up. Lebron is the former president of Mount Vernon Nazarene University and Anne is his wife (also one of the nicest people on earth). They are two of the sharpest, compassionate, loving people we know. While we didn't know them exceptionally well at Mount Vernon it's such a joy to get to know them while they live here in Lakeland. Lebron was good to encourage Coy about the writing of his book on environmental holiness and we found many things in common just talking over muffins and some really good chicken pot pie. Kirra was all over the place, spilling milk and mashing up banana bread between her fingers, neither of the two seemed to mind one bit. They only commented on how beautiful her eyes were and how much she has grown since they had last seen her. This is one thing I truly cherish about our denomination, the family that never fades and the people who will always be our friends. I'm sure Lebron and Anne will probably move from Lakeland in the days to come because he works for our denomination in Kansas City. However, we're blessed to be able to share life together for a season and thankful for conversations with friends.

Reveal yourself in me...

Student Life Camp 2008---

In my former life (a.k.a. yesterday), I would have first written about all of the breakthroughs my students have been having at camp this week. I would have written about the teenagers that I didn't know very well prior to our trip, who are now making fun of me, laughing, and smiling (because at this event, I have become their youth pastor). Maybe I would have mentioned that one young girl, Hailey, met God for the first time. Or perhaps I would have described the tears of freedom and joy that Erin cried when she let go of her pain and asked God to take it. And, I will write about these things because they are the most important things I get to be a part of---they are the reason why we are in ministry today. But I can't share the heartbeats of the students I'm doing life with unless I'm able share about my own struggles and breakthroughs.


For the three people who read my blog, you'll notice that I've changed the title of it more than once. OK, more than a few times. I've been like the sand shifting with the winds of change and trends and "good marketing". Ugghhh. It's uncomfortable to admit this because I know that I'm a chamelion in so many ways. I thrive on new ideas, on new themes, on metaphors and symbols that define who people are (including myself). That's why I've gone from having the "Lotus" blog...to the "Lotus Christian" blog...to the "Youth Ministry Notes" blog...and so on....

Tonight--as I write this blog at 2 AM---, I want to humbly reclaim "Lotus Christian" because somewhere, when I wasn't watching, it got lost.

It's a long story, so here's the skinny version.

I came to camp to be with my students, to pray with them, to do all the things a good pastor should do. But God was broadcasting some things into my heart that prepared me for tonight's message, for tonight's worship.

For so many months (actually years), I have been perpetually trying to prove my worth. I've been trying to be THE quintessential youth pastor. I've been trying to show everyone that they've got us women all wrong. It's been hard enough to stay in ministry, let alone try to do something great.

So I wrote a book. Some girls that I really respect and admire even said it was pretty good. But writing a book or being successful in that way isn't delivering immediate "results". So, I helped this person and I helped that person. I said "yes" to so many people (even when Doug Field's told me I should say "no" more often). I spent more hours at work and less hours with students. I'm firing every piston and looking for every inroad to validate the ministry that I feel like I've given up so much for.

When, all along, God has been calling me to surrender. I don't need what I've been looking for. God will use me to make me a light--pain, screw-ups, pride, and all--God will use this vessel for His glory.

Louie Giglio was our camp pastor this week. I didn't take a single note of what he shared (which is really sort of weird for an anal type A note-taking type like myself). But his words broke through to me tonight in a rush of clarity. God wants to make Christ's name renown in my life, by way of joy or suffering, God--if we ask him to--will make himself known through us.

Tomlin's song spoke to my heart:

Jesus Messiah...Shine your light and let the whole world see...We're singing, for the glory of the risen King...

Writing this out makes the reality of what's going on my heart seem so flat and unreal. But the knowledge that God has granted me tonight has changed me forever.

The cause that has been in my heart since I was seventeen years old cries out. The lotus flower is the metaphor of my life and calling to ministry. God is making all things new as we watch God alive in history redeeming humankind and creation to himself. God is able to call the purest things out of the mud and the disaster. God can do anything.


I'm rambling at this point but it's a start., just sharing what's going on...one baby step towards authenticity. I'm praying for gratitude, for meekness, for a broken heart for the things that I used to go nuts about. There's so much to do.

I feel like this is only the beginning of how God is going to use our family...

Thanks Louie for allowing God to use you. Thanks Chris for being faithful. Thanks God for reminding me of the person you've been wanting to use all along.

More about our amazing and wonderful students to come...