Renew Your Membership

Our second child, a daughter by the name of Mya Noelle, came into the world bright and early at 3:17 AM on Wednesday December 23rd. Her presence to me was angelic and sweet, a bright light in my life, an unplanned gift that I will always cherish. It's been over two weeks since that early morning and I find myself desiring to emerge from the protective cocoon which is our town home in Florida. A few days ago I was thinking, "I could get used to this life" while daydreaming during a session on my sofa with a book and a baby sleeping on my lap. Then today, motivated by a writing deadline, I opened up a book that's been a source of inspiration to me for a few years, "Writing to Change the World" by Mary Pipher. I opened to a page where I had underlined a particular paragraph.

"Change writers who are not connected to the world generally cannot connect to readers. The pressures of the real world slow up down and beat us up. Pressures steal our time and fog our focus. Yet, in the end, these same pressures allow up to retain our membership in the human race."

This made me think. How often do I get bummed and burnt out by the pressures and pace of youth ministry? How much time do I spend worrying about the perceived failures, the broken families, the effects of the economy on my upcoming spring retreat? Pressures do steal our time and fog our focus. But, as Pipher so eloquently puts it, "in the end, these same pressures allow us to retain our membership in the human race."

As much as I would like to stay in this protective bliss--evading the return to the rigors of ministry in the church, I find myself thinking that this time at home helps me retain that very important membership--the realization that I am a part of what I'm trying to help everyone else through. I too face pressures, heartache, and fear--which gives me a platform which to speak from experience. We share this in common, we are human.

As I look into the eyes of our young students, some as young as ten in middle school ministry, I am acutely aware that they were most were 6 to 10 pound (Lord help the mother who bore a ten pound baby!) infants, swaddled in their parents arms and adorned with the highest hopes and dreams. When they hurt, we hurt. When they question, we listen. When they cry out for help, we do all that we can to find a remedy. Or, at least that's the aim. How much more important is it to lead them to the cross and to a lifestyle rooted and established in the Holy Spirit?

These are the thoughts of a postpartum mama in ministry as she reflects on the life she leads--and sometimes fumbles through.

So, she's officially renewing her membership in the human race today as she thanks God for three hours of sleep last night and a neighbor with a diesel truck that roars to life at 6:30 AM waking everyone in the house. She is grateful that it will make her a more connected youth pastor and writer--grateful that she's not alone--grateful that we are in this together.

Brooklyn's Best 2009

Ministry can be a lot of work, no matter what situation you currently find yourself in (for me it's balancing full-time ministry, jr. high drama, being a wife and mother, being pregnant, and taking time to relax and maybe even clean the house every now and then).

So to say I had help this year would be pure craziness because I had a TON of help. And I thought it might be good to share some of these "saves" in ministry that I frequently take for granted. I'll jot these down in rant-like fashion. They aren't in any particular order or inclusive by any means. (There is so much out there!) I'm sure many of these helps will be my friend (and yours) for years to come.

Fun Elements- No matter how much my creative juices are flowing, sometimes, I can't think of a great crowd game or small group experience to go with what we're teaching. My first stop for random and free ideas is Egad Ideas. Be careful though, if you're a little A.D.D. you may get lost in the massiveness of the ideas base.

Text Messaging- We use Simply Text to communicate to our students and leaders. Let's face it, people don't respond to emails like before. It's frustrating and annoying when they get returned. But texting, well, that's a different story! It's been great to communicate so quickly and get feedback in the same way.

A Middle School Ministry Book- This is probably the most helpful book I've read this year. It's good stuff whether you work with middle school students or not.

Other People's Blogs- Josh Griffin, I don't know when you sleep. But you give us so much to work with--I love that you freely share all of the stuff that goes on your ministry. So many churches don't have the staff, the time, or the resources to dream up half of the stuff that your team comes up with, you've certainly helped me out this year. So thanks buddy and happy blogging.

Youth Specialties Website- This organization has kept me going since I started in youth ministry. The stuff they provide is fuel for my ministry tank. Most recently it's been the Real World Parent's newsletter that is pouring into our local ministry where we want to provide more helps for parents. Thank YS for doing what you've always done, love and equip us youth leaders.

CIY (Christ in Youth)- I'm ready to go this spring and summer with an awesome retreat lined up (Jr. High Believe) and a great mission trip (Know Sweat) for our middle school students. I needed something that I didn't have to coordinate on my own since I'll have a newborn to take care of this year. I've previewed some of their events this year and was really impressed with what goes on. I'm looking forward to joining my kids in some amazing experiences this spring and summer.

YouTube- Need I explain?

Igniter and Bluefish- Stuff from these sites keep our worship services fresh, relevant, challenging. Amena Brown's spoken word pieces have been my favorite this year. She is amazing and the student's listen to her voice.

FYI (Fuller Youth Institute)- Kara Powell and her team are killers, in every good sense of the word...seriously, my heroes. I love thinking grown-up thoughts that are researched based and practically motivated about youth ministry. What they provide is awesome and I soak up everything they have to give.

My Crew- There's no link on this one. Having a group of people who get you and get what you do is priceless. My ministry circle has been the most inspiring and encouraging support I've had all year. They keep me laughing, they keep me on my toes asking hard questions, but most of all they are supportive in ways that no one else can be. If you don't have a group, a network, a posse of sorts, find one. You'll be glad you did.

My Family- What would I do without a husband who has been volunteering in my youth ministry for over a decade? Having a guy who understands my "after youth group vents", laughs at me when I'm losing my mind over what to do about the kid to punched his buddy in a dodge ball argument, and supports me when I'm truly frustrated or sad is one of the biggest gifts someone could give me. I thank God every day for family who understand why I love ministry so much.

I hope some of this will be helpful to you in 2010. Merry Christmas youth ministry family. You're the best.

B

How to pray.

You can learn a lot about spirituality from your children. Kirra, our 2 year old daughter, prayed this prayer before going off to sleep tonight.

Thank you for mommy.
Thank you for daddy.
Thank you for Cinderella.
Thank you for family.
Thank you for baby sister.
The end.

Teaching teenagers to pray, or even having a dedicated prayer time as an adult can be a challenging thing. Then I'm reminded as I reflect on the simple and pointed prayer of our daughter that God only desires that we talk to Him. He knows our needs. He doesn't need our extensive vocabulary or drawn out pleas.

Thank God.
Be real.
Know that God understands our hearts--even when we believe in Cinderella or close a prayer with the way we end a book.
God loves us.
We can rest in that.
We can pray and don't have to be ashamed.
Just talk to Him.

Thank you God for Kirra.
Thank you for teaching me how to pray.
I know you love me and that's a pretty cool thing.
Help me to remember that when I forget.
Amen

What will you tell them in 2010?

December brings a youth pastor to think about what on earth she'll tell her (or his) students the following year. What series will we teach? What books will we encourage them to read? How will we disciple them? I came across a quote that is shaping my response to this question in a book called "Telling The Truth: The Gospel As Tragedy, Comedy, & Fairy Tale" by Frederick Buechner. On page 8 he says'

"But to preach the Gospel is not just to tell the truth but to tell the truth in love, and to tell the truth in love means to tell it with concern also for the people it is being told to. So it's crucial to keep them in mind too, the hearers...

...the preacher must always try to feel what it is like to live inside the skins of the people he (or she) is preaching to, to hear it as they hear it."

Translation: The youthworker must always think about what it must be like to hear the message with the ears of an 11, 12, or 13 year old (older if you're speaking to high school students). What's it like to hear and experience what you're saying when you see the world with the eyes of someone who has yet to go through puberty? What does it mean to enter into the story of the Gospel when a student is learning to write his first research paper?

What's it like to hear about the new series coming up when you can't remember what homework you have for tomorrow? The answers to these questions are shaping my planning for winter and spring, maybe it will shape your plans too?

Youth Ministry Heartburn

My friend heartburn and I have been hanging out a lot lately. He (or she...I definitely don't want to discriminate here :) hasn't been the nicest friend because he causes me to want to rip my esophagus out from time to time and makes me wonder if I'm capable of surviving another night bout. Regardless, this amazing and awful thing called heartburn that's been induced by nearly nine months of pregnancy, has reminded me of a few things:

1) There's a reason I have heartburn. I'm expecting a child. There's no room in the inn this December and my body is letting me know it. While it's painful and caused me to down numerous bottles of Tums, I know it's there for a good reason. It keeps me expectant for the new life that's to come.

2)Heartburn can be alleviated when I pay attention to what I eat. Or, more importantly, what I stay away from. Why can't I stop eating french fries with vinegar all over them? (Maybe because they taste so good, but that's for another blog.)

3) Heartburn makes us want take action. Tums, small meals, tums, water, more tums...

And isn't it the same in ministry?

We get ministry heartburn when our students grieve. We get it when we've got too much on our plates. We get it when we've said "yes" to much and "no" too little.

So what's the parallel when I'm aching in ministry I know there's a reason? I look for the reason. I ask questions. I try to find out what on earth is causing the pain. Often, the pain comes because we are in a constant state of expectation. We expect changed lives. We have faith that God will do what God promised and use our lives as living sacrifices. We get bummed when ministry doesn't produce fruit or we feel like we've dropped the ball somehow. We know that the burn comes when we're in the thick of investment--in the thick of lives--in the thick of the mess that is life.

There's also a season when we need rest from ministry heartburn. We need to alleviate some of the struggle, to do and be less. The alleviation comes for me when I focus in and do some things really well and find contentment that I can't do it all.

When ministry heartburn is there, it moves us to action. It asks us to do something. What is it that your ministry is calling you to do? We all could use antacids at that annual lock-in, but what is it that really satisfies you and gives you peace in ministry? Do that. Focus in. Feel the burn but then allow it to remind you why it's there and what you can do to respond to it.

I don't plan on having physical heartburn for much longer, but in a way, I'm thankful for it's constant presence in my life over the past nine months. I hope the ministry burn comes and goes to keep me fresh, passionate, and committed to the teenagers and families God has led us to.

Advent-agous

I sit in my office today dreaming of the Thanksgiving feast tomorrow, it's hard to concentrate on much else and I would rather be at home digging out the Christmas decorations.

It's times like these that I turn to reading in an attempt to re-focus on what I'm supposed to be doing here. I pulled out my devotional book based on the liturgical church year, "A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants" and realized that Sunday is the first day of Advent.

How did that happen?

Christmas snuck up on me like a middle school boy with a dodge ball.

Advent is my favorite church season and I feel like I didn't do anything to prepare our students for this amazing month of wonder and expectation. I'm bewildered that I tend to do this every year. I find myself saying, "next year, I'm really going to do advent big".

Then I read further in my devotional.

"To have found God, to have experienced him in the intimacy of our being, to have lived even for one hour in the fire of his Trinity and the bliss of his Unity clearly makes us say: 'Now I understand. You alone are enough for me.'" --From The God Who Comes by Carlo Carretto

Arrested.

The question must change. The "what will we do" must turn into "what will we know"? It's in the knowing that Christ alone is enough and that knowledge will change what we do. Doing advent big isn't what it's all about. Advent, the season of preparation for the coming of Christ, should be a time of prayer and devotion--a pulling back from the hectic over-programed, hyper-scheduled norm many of us call youth ministry.

Advent has been referred to as a "little Lent", a time of repentance. I would like to join with our students in the next few weeks in humble searching, in heartfelt prayer, in intentional listening to the needs and stories of others around us.

Rather than planning the best Advent series ever, I think I'll stick to leaving some space for God to work--trusting as we devote time and attention to honoring the birth of Christ that we'll find a childlike wonder that draws us closer to the reason we are here in the first place.

So here's my plan for our middle school students in December(if you can call it one).

Come together whenever we can.
Pray and sing.
Honor the story of Jesus' birth by telling it.
Give students some experiential ways to enter into the story and give them a chance to tell how they have been a part of it.
Listen.
Celebrate.
Be content.

God, we thank you for coming to us long ago in the birth of Jesus. We offer our lives and our ministries to you, asking that you would give us courage to truly wait in expectation for what you are going to do in us and through us. Help us to be patient. Uncomplicate us. Wreck our ideas to make room for your leading. Thank you for giving us unlimited grace. Help us to be faithful, each in our own way--and responsive with our lives for being given such undeserved gifts.

Middle School Message Momentum

At the beginning of the semester I worked on putting together a 9 week series for our middle schoolers that was highly experiential. It was based on a book called the Kingdom Experiment published by The House Studio. The point of the series was to reiterate the truths that Jesus expressed to his listeners in Matthew chapter 5. Every week, the same point was made, that there is a kingdom and we can experience it here on earth. Each week I illustrated one more way to experience the kindgom, and challenged the students to test it out for themselves with experiments they could do at home individually or together as a community with our youth group. The series built incredible momentum, the stories coming from the experiments were amazing and life-changing, and we saw a glimpse of what God could do if we tried, even just a little, to live as Jesus asked us to live.

Now the series is over and I've picked a shorter three week series for the month of November. It's a great series with awesome content---but there is something missing. It's falling flat and the students don't seem to be connecting like they did for the nine weeks before. I'm chalking it up to my short memory--and the fact that I'm not offering a key ingredient that I was offering for the nine weeks before: an overwhelmingly obvious point that they can experience--repeatedly.

Here's what I should know about middle school ministry that I need to remember each week as I plan and prepare messages.

1) Middle school students need a big idea. They need one thing. They don't mind if you share it for 9 weeks straight. If it's good, if it's life-changing, if you are giving them fresh material every week, they really don't care if you stay on it.

2) Middle school students need to hear a story. Every week during the Kingdom Experiment I shared a true story of someone living that beatitude out or experiencing the blessing or pain that was associated with it. The story ties them into something bigger than themselves--which is something hard to do when young teens are just beginning to begin to differentiate between who they are and who others are around them.

3) Middle school students need a challenge. They like to have ties to the club you're inviting them to. What do we give them to take home and "own"? What do we give them to do? What opportunities do we provide for them to flex what you're teaching as an individual?

As I plan for winter messages I'm thinking about these things. I'm asking myself "What am I doing to articulate Scripture in a way that keeps teenagers wanting more, growing more, and connecting more? I'll begin by celebrating the momentum and even the occasional lulls in the program--because in them both I've learned things that are making me better.